Excerpts from Whoever Said Life is Fair?
What about the
differences between men and
women? Does one sex have an easier time
achieving dignity than the other?
Myriad books have
been written on this subject, and
my life and my work have taught me so much about
similarities
and differences. But as I look back, certain
recurring
themes seem to stand out. When men come
into
treatment because of depression, it usually has to
do with feelings of not being manly or successful
enough. Women
come into treatment asking, "Who
am I? What is
a woman really?"
It seems that the
man suffers because he is ashamed
of not being manly or potent ..enougheither in his
work or in
his personal life. The woman suffers when
she feels
inferior simply for being a woman, when she
feels unlovable, or undesirable, or when she feels unable to reconcile
her femininity with the demands of
an increasingly competitive workaday world.
Many women feel deeply inadequate for the first
time as they
realize their children must someday leave them to claim their own
life. "What will become of me
when they don't
need me anymore?" asks a young and competent wife and mother. "What
am I trained to do?"
~
Excerpt from Chapter 20 ~ Read more in
Whoever Said Life is Fair?
It is necessary,
too, to learn the difference between mutual trust and dictatorial
control.
I am thinking of an interview in my office this
morning. The wife begins:
"I believe in sharing. I want to share and
give. I just don't think you should control all the money I
make, when I'm not even sure what you have."
"If you love me, you'll trust me," the husband
replies. "And I'll handle the money."
"But there are certain things I want to
understand..."
"Like what?"
"I want to understand what the children will inherit
and how the money is invested. I want a better understanding
of the insurance policies. When you and the attorney set up a
trust for the children, why wasn't I involved in the planning?"
"Why can't you just trust me and leave it to me?"
"It's not that I don't trust you. It's that I
want to be involved in the planning. At the end of the month,
I want to sit down with you and together pay the bills and know
exactly what we have and what we don't."
"You just don't trust me, do you? You're the kind of
woman who will never be satisfied. You really don't know how
good you have it."
"If I don't give in, you'll just stop talking to me,
but there is one more thing that I want you to hear -- something
important..."
~ Excerpt
from Chapter 13 ~ Read more in
Whoever Said Life is Fair? |
